b'day

23rd november was my birthday. The day came and went by with the usual celebrations. My wife Ruchi really slogged it out late into the night and made a grand gourmet meal. My brother came back from India the day before and we had a family dinner. What made this birthday special were 2 things. I already described in one of my earlier posts how I had a great time with my son. My manager at work sent out an email to the entire group about my b'day. So, today when I came in to work, there were several emails sitting in my mail box, congratulating me on my b'day. Then some people started coming over to my cube to personally shake my hand and wish me "happy birthday". It felt quite special. My manager had already made a lunch reservation at a restaurant of my choice. Since the lunch was voluntary participation, we didn't know who would come... We reached the place about 20 minutes late. It was a bit embarrasing to see so many people turn out for my birthday lunch. The restaurant itself is expensive. We had a reservation for 12 people but it was apparent that we had more people than that in our party. The restaurant could not re-arrange tables to accomodate us in one place so we ended up splitting the party into two. In all about 17 people showed up. Lunch was fun. At one point my manager remarked "I can't help it Umang... you are so popular" :) Food was good, people were in good mood and all in all we all had a good time. A day to remember.

Side Note: In the middle of the lunch, I went over to the other table to chat with the folks there. One of my colleagues who had recently invited me over to his house for dinner started telling everyone seated at the table about how he really likes my dad and how impressed he is with him. To quote my colleague "Umang's dad is a very nice person. Some people have a very nice personaility but Umang's dad has a great personaility and I really like him. We feel like listening to him all the time. He is so graceful....". That was the most awesome thing to hear.

Stallions and Donkeys (workplace humor)

Stallions (high performers) in your organizations are the ones who will win races for you. However they do not come cheap. They are also expensive to maintain as they need special veterinary care, vitamins, air-conditioned stables etc. They are however worth it as they 'win' races for you which brings in the dollars (One idea or a new process created by a high performer can save you millions or on the other hand make you millions).

On the other hand, donkeys (average/poor performers) in your organizations, given the same 'special treatment' will never ever win races for you. In his article, 'The True Value of Hiring and Retaining Top Performers', author Dr John Sullivan (a top HR specialist in the US) states that "Top performers exceed the performance of average performers by at least 25%". When you translate that into dollars and cents it can be very big money.

Never recruit a stallion and use it to carry heavy loads. That is not its primary function and if you continue to do so you will turn him into a donkey or he will leave. You are also wasting talent and skills. On the other hand, never recruit a donkey and then think that through the process of training and development or other methods that you can make him win races. It will never ever happen and is definitely not worth the time and effort!

Stallions want to be treated like stallions. They know that they can win races and therefore know that they are special. They also know that they are very marketable which may make them a little conceited. Accept their egos. It is a small price to pay for excellence. When you treat them like donkeys, they get de-motivated which in turn results in them not winning races or else they leave. It is easy to convert a stallion into a donkey by mismanaging him, de-motivating him etc. On the other hand, try as he may, even David Copperfield will not be able to convert a donkey into a stallion.

NEVER, EVER allow or promote a donkey to manage stallions. He will soon convert all the stallions into donkeys. Curt Coffman, lead researcher at Gallup says that "If you have a turnover problem look first to your managers," he asserts. "People leave managers, not companies." Lastly, identify the stallions in your organization and do all you can to keep them. It's okay to allow the donkeys to leave. Donkeys are easily replaceable, stallions are not.

A special bond...

Nalin is at an age where he is maturing fast. He is quite sensible and I am fortunate that He and I are forming a very strong and special bond between us. He is not afraid to let me know what he likes about me and what he does not like about me. At the same time, I also take a step back and look at things from his perspective. As a result, we both understand each other very well and get along superbly. Just today, I was sitting by myself pondering about something that was weighing heavily on my mind and he walked up to me and said quite seriously.."Daddy, why are you so sad... come, I will play with you." and that really touched my heart. We spent the next half an hour doing drawings and fun stuff. In that moment, we were more friends and less of father and son. He had allowed me access into his little world and it was an amazing experience. We could relate to each other. It is a moment I will cherish for a long time. I hope he treats me as his friend as he grows older since I would like to be part of his joys and sorrows, his ambitions, his victories and successes and be there to support him if and when he ever feels down or disappointed. I believe we have the beginnings of a very special bond... bless his heart.

When you thought I wasn't looking

For us - the parents...

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favourite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'

I AM SENDING THIS TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW
WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS,
BUT THINK THAT NO ONE EVER SEES.
LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT.

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend)
influences the life of a child.

How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by
sending this to someone else, you will probably make
them at least think about their influence on others.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

If only I could stop time....

My darling is at that cutie pie stage right now where you wish you could stop time and live in that moment for eternity. Ofcourse I am talking about my daughter Shruti... Just this morning, right after my wife and son went to school, she started saying in her cute voice .. "I want chokolate, I want chokolate..." Repeat about 10-12 times without taking any breath and then she switches gears to "I want ice cream" Repeat that about 20 times without taking a break. Then she goes "I want halley potter" :) Finally, I had to give in and give her a lollipop at 8:30 am in the morning. There are times she will run to me, get into my lap and want "Jhoope maiyya" her way of saying she wants "Jhoote maiyya). At times she will point to the ceiling and say "I want that one" meaning pick me up, throw me in the air and catch me. Sometimes, she will just come to me and pat my face or back, moving her face side to side... a look of sheer joy on her face (as a mother would pat her child). Gosh there are so many of these moments and sometimes it makes my teary eyed. My daughter is growing up so fast. Ever so often she will come and announce in the room " My daddy!!! My daddy!!! I love my daddy". When I go pick her up from the day care, you should see her reaction. Her face lights up and she makes a mad dash towards me...not caring what toy or furniture lies in her path. Without fear of falling down, she will run just to get to me... Ah, wish I could stop the time at these moments. :)

Women unplugged...

Well, this forum is by no means meant for female bashing but I have to post the following two items.... they are so true... its not even funny.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine :
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes :
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing :
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead :
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh :
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay :
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks :
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
(I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever :
Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it :
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

and this one is from years ago..... :)

Time pass

I think a time pass post is long over due... so here are some cool time wasters. Let me know if you liked them and I can post some more. Enjoy.....

The race

Click on the ball to change its color

Joke

An armed hooded robber bursts into a Bank and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot one brave customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation! He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him.

One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him in the head. Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.

Did anyone else see my face?' calls the robber.

There is a few moments silence then one elderly gentleman, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says: 'I think me wife may have caught a glimpse ....'.

Marriage



Before marriage....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!



After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.

Burglaries

There is an alarming increase in burglaries in our neighborhood recently ... atleast 3-4 on our street itself in the last couple of weeks. What's surprising is that the thieves strike in broad daylight. The modus operendii seems to be that someone follows the schedule of the occupents of the "marked" houses and then strikes at an appropriate time. One of our neighbors left home in the morning to drop the kids to school (about a mile away) and when she returned home about 10-15 minutes later, her house had already been broken into.

This is so wrong on so many counts. Taking something that does not belong to you is awful. You don't know how many people are involved, are they dangerous if confronted, are they ganf members and/or drug addicts? Are they from the same neighborhood? The victim feels so violated... someone breaking in and turning their lives upside down. The cops are totally ineffective. You can register a report but you can be sure nothing would come out of it. We had a break-in 3 years ago and an attempted break-in about a year ago...

This sucks!!! Well, hopefully these crooks get caught soon.

Naach mania

Oh what a day today has been. Today we had the good fortune to go see the Naach event in a High school auditorium in a nearby city. Naach is a private organization that is involved in teaching dance (to the tunes of bollywood music) to people of all ages. Our primary motivation to go see the event was Ruchi's performance. It was a crazy morning - getting the kids ready, rushing off to pick up Ruchi (who had left early to practise her dance one last time) and then rushing off to the event. Once there, I saw that the parking lot was full and lots and lots of performers dressed in their costumes. There was a contagious excitement in the air. First stop - the samosa/idly-vada-sambar stall. First things first - have to have some grub in the tummy. No fun if the tummy is adding its own music during the show. The food was good and then the tea... mmm. delicious. Then the thing I hate - we snaked our way into the auditorium via a slow moving line. Fortunately, the seating was good. We were at the mezzanine level and had a good view of the stage. I was a bit sceptical about the whole show - kids and adults of all ages would be performing... yawn!! The first performance and I am floored. The audience is really into it and cheering wildly, the performers are awesome, the music is rocking!!!

One after another performers come and do their show to hit tunes from bollywood and everyone is riveted to their seats. Just before intermission, Ruchi and her friend leave us to get ready for their bit. A long 20 minute intermission follows and the kids are getting restless. Finally, the show resumes. Small kids, youngsters and Adults - all belting out great performances one after the other. At that point I wanted Nalin and Shruti too out their performing. It would be a good development activity for them and they would enjoy it too. Finally, it is Ruchi and her groups turn. She dance to the tune of "chak de phatte". The performance was exceptional and you could see how much hard work and effort went into preparing for this dance. Everyone was dancing in unision, no mistakes (as if I would know any better) :) but beautifully done. After the show, we went to have lunch at a community centre before heading for home. It was pretty tiring for everyone but well worth it. A very good job done. What's next? I am hoping Ruchi becomes an instructor and teaches the dances to our kids. Wishful thinking - you never know. ;-)

The castle personality test

I came across this simple personaility test (from a friend's blog). It's only 6 questions, takes about 2 minutes yet very accurate. Here are my results...

The Castle Personality Test



You have no problem diving into new experiences. You're so brave that you don't even notice how courageous you are.

You like to think that people see you as intellectual and wise. You consider yourself to be very smart.

You are a very realistic person. You see the world as it is, flaws and all.

Right now, you feel very trapped in your life. You often feel like there is no way out of your rut.

Overall, your life is calm and steady. Not much stirs you, and each day is full of joy.

You aren't optimistic about the future. You worry about what will happen to the world and if we'll be able to clean up the messes we've made.


Now how about you go ahead and take the test and let me know your result. ;)
The test is here ---- > The Castle personality test.

Obama it is...

It's final. Obama will be the next president of USA. I saw his acceptance speech and am I impressed? Wow. Not only is the guy an excellent orator, his body language, his style, his tone and tenor... amazing. Best of all, I did not see even a touch of arrogance. Very gracious in victory. Let's see what the next 4 years have in store for us.

The bart measure I have been following closely is still undecided. It would generate funds to bring Bart to San Jose and Santa Clara and I am a big supporter. We need 66.66% votes and we have about 66.30% votes. It's that close. The Mail-in votest are being counted and hopefully this measure goes through.

Prop 8 dealing with taking away the right of Gays to marriage and be treated equally passed. Its kind of sad that in this day and age, people still have to fight hard for their rights. On the flip side, straight people are apprehensive that their young kids would be exposed to all this and I totally understand that concern. I guess with time, this issue will resolve itself.

I was a big supporter of Prop 2 and am glad it passed. The farm animals (in california) would get to move around and stretch their limbs even though their ultimate fate remains unchanged. :(

I look forward to the coming months with great excitement and optimism but at the same time I feel we all are being a bit unfair to Obama. To expect him to change everything that is wrong with the country right now (economy, stock market, hosuing, jobs etc etc) is too much to ask from anyone. I just hope that people do not lose faith in him too much too fast.

I wanted to add my views about desi politicians but that's for another day. Why spoil the mood right now (as it is there is very little to cheer). Hoping for better days ahead.

Election day

I was on the fence all this while - not able to decide who would get my vote. Obama or McCain. I was still undecided even 30 minutes before I actually cast my vote. Obama - The guy is good, a bit inexperienced. He can make tall claims (don't all politicians do) but not sure if he can deliver. I don't like his concept of taxing the rich to solve all issues (not that I am rich but I find it unfair to target a segment of society). Otherwise he is pretty good - clear in his thoughts and ideas. McCain is a decorated war hero and must not be held accountable for what Bush did. I agree with McCain when he says that the US cannot turn her back and run from the battlefield (it was wrong to go in the first place but now that you are there, finish the job and then come back - by finish the job I mean bring some stability in the region that you messed up).

Anyway, my decision was made by the most unlikely source in a most unusual manner. Ruchi was on her way to drop off Nalin to School when I got a call from her. Nalin wanted to talk to me. The conversation goes something like this:

Nalin: Daddy, I want you to vote for Obama.
Me (shocked): What?
Nalin: Vote for Obama...
Me: Are you sure? who is the other guy?
Nalin: McCain
Me (now amused): What is this vote for?
Nalin: My teacher said that Mommy and daddy can vote for the president of USA.
Umang (trying to be sure): Do you want me to vote for Biden or Palin?
Nalin: Biden.
Umang: What's his full name?
Nalin: Joe Biden.

Now, I am really impressed. That decided it for me. I was off the fence and half an hour later Obama had my vote. Four years from now, I guess Shruti will be advising me where to put my vote. :) I look forward to that day.